u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sponge bath it is.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
