happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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