Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
