I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
