Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
