The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
