Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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