I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Randomize