Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
