Plan B is the new Plan A
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
