Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
