I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize