I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
