I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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