You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
