Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize