a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
