Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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