She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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