but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
They took my balls.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
