I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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