Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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