guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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