Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Randomize
