Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
