My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize