Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
