Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
