meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
how do you play pong handcuffed?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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