I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
