I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
