Need sex. Gaining weight.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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