if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
MIDGETS
????
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
