He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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