Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
