I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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