Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize