Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
only if we run a train.
done.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
