She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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