Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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