the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize