somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
