I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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