it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I love having hate sex.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
