She's JV to your varsity
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
