I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
