Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
