Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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