He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize