just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
