I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
