3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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