I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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