I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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