im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
