I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
this just has baby written all over it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize