the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude i'm inner monologue high
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
