This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
