Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
