you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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