It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
