Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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