Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
