Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
