dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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