So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
