He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
