I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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