in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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