This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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